I…Don’t Really Scream For Ice Cream

I’ve been having a sad and weird ice cream couple of days this week, and it’s only Wednesday.

Monday, my reserved sweetie day, was a day of two birthday celebrations and a celebration of the last day of my Lovely Assistant as she goes off into the internship sunset of summer. Ergo: Cake! And since it was a three pronged celebration, I made two different flavors of cake (and stacked em!) plus I brought in ice cream. Ice Cream! Tasty, tasty Stucchi’s White Russian Fudge (for it was my Lovely Assistant’s 21st birthday) and Haagen-Dazs dolce de leche (because we had a caramel/red velvet layered cake and caramel ice cream sounded good). The plan was to have eats about 2ish so I brought the ice cream packed in a cooler with a million freezer thingits (4 to be precise. Yes, 4 of those cooler pack freezy things) plus I filled it with ice from the ice machine when I got to work. No problem (I thought). That’ll hold them nice and cold until two.

Later that day we cut the cake and cracked open the cooler to have…cake and shakes. Mind you, I had to pry frozen chunks of ice off of and around from both ice cream pints but despite their Arctic Circle cocoon, both pints were liquid goo when we opened them. *sniff* That’s a terrible thing to have happen to both Stucchis and Haagen-Dazs. We partook of them anyway (in cups with spoons; we didn’t have straws) but man. My ice cream plan melted while I almost got frost bite digging the darned things out of the cooler. How does THAT happen??? Foo.

And also: Word recognizes Haagen-Dazs. You bloated consumer mongering word processing program.

And also ALSO, I forgot the cooler Monday night, which meant that it sat in the office all full of four useless freezer stupids and a damned ‘cold but not cold enough’ chunk of ice cubes until I could drag it home the next day. Which I did. I also opted to dump out the sloshy ice melt onto the driveway when we got home (because ew!) and guess what came rolling out along with the four sub par ice thingits? A SMALL FIST SIZED CHUNK OF ICE! That’s about 36 hours of hanging around for that ice chunk yet the ice cream goes soft in less than 6 hours? THAT’S NOT RIGHT! Gahhhhhhh!

Continuing with my ice cream theme, I had mentioned that Tuesday was “Free Ice Cream Cone Day” at Ben and Jerry’s. This too I had saved a sweetie day for because there is only one day that I will step foot as a patron in the Ben and Jerry Ice cream store and that day is Free Ice Cream Cone Day. I’ve also probably mentioned it elsewhere (Cheeto+Butt=me) but about five or so years ago, Ben and Jerry’s up and plopped an ice cream store right next to the Stucchi’s shop. My home grown three location ice cream shop and a giant meglamaniac ice cream corporation has to up and plop an ice cream sore of its own right next door?!??? That’s low. That’s especially low because guess who started out not too long ago as the little guy somewhere in Vermont? Hey B&J, that’d be YOU! How would you have liked it if someone had gone and plopped a Baskin Robbins right next door to your ice cream parlor back then, eh? Not so much I’m guessing, but now that you’re all growed up and a bunch of stupid corporate jerks it’s OK to flex a little 580+ store muscle next to the little guy right?

Auuugh! That just torques my nads when someone with a lot of backing tries to out spend the guy with fewer resources. That’s also why I won’t ever get anything from that Ben and Jerry’s ever because RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO STUCCHI’S!!! I’m making a statement here and I plan to stick by it, however if they’re going to go all profit margin bust by giving out free cones (which they wont but it IS costing them a penny or two to hand out all that free ice cream) well then I’m happy to help them along in that aspect. I get a nasty sense of delight in only going for the free ice cream.

You know, I was going to go all off on a bigger rant here about the big guy and the little guy (and to tell the truth, I really do like B&J’s ice cream so when I’m not downtown I have no qualms about picking up a pint of it because hey, they made it you know? It’s like Borders but tastier and you have to admire a small business hitting it big time – but not necessarily the one part of the big time which plops itself next to someone still trying to make it) but I just went to the Stucchi’s web site and…they have more than the three locations I know about. My little underdog appears to be a scrapper: There are 23 listed locations at present with five more on the way. Not only that, but there are Stucchi’s scattered throughout Michigan and…Texas. Yeah, I’m not sure what that’s all about and I’m fairly sure not all the locations listed are Stucchi’s ice cream stores as one might imagine a Stucchi’s ice cream store (I was just at the one on Stone School road, which is actually a deli with a small ice cream counter that is supplied by Stucchi’s (with Stucchi’s? from Stucchi’s? Ahhh, how about the ice cream in the counter is Stucchi’s ice cream? That works)). I’m not sure I’d really count a cooler of Stucchi’s ice cream tubs as a “Stucchi’s location” but it’s a pretty cool idea. It gets your name out without having to spend so much money on rent overhead.

This also explains why B&J haven’t put my beloved Stucchi’s out of business all these years they have been operating elbow to elbow. I was wondering.

And despite all my ranting and raving and ice cream gnashing, I didn’t go out and get a free cone yesterday. In fact, Monday evening I decided that I had just had too much sugar that day and was going to cancel my Tuesday sweetie day. Yeah, I’m not sure what that was about either, (me and Texas, enigmas wrapped in ice cream) but I didn’t feel like having ice cream so I didn’t. I didn’t even miss the sweeties yesterday and that’s…not right at all. On top of not right, I had this really strong urge to work out yesterday when I got home. Fortunately, I was also extremely tired as well and sleep won but what about today??? I don’t’ feel like eating ice cream today either and I just caught myself thinking about how sort of fun it was to do the abs of steel tape I have, back when I did it pretty regularly.

God help us all if I’m turning into a health nut.

Last year at the booniverse: No ice cream and no updating. What is this world coming to?!??

Last last year at the booniverse: They got done and they looked great. And they jingled. Rang? Well, they had cow bells and when you shook them they ding-dinged.

The year before at the booniverse: Why are all attendant’s clothing like this? BAH on the wedding industry!

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