Japanese Snack Food Review: Baked Chicken Pretz

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Despite the fact that these are officially “Baked Chicken Pretz”, we’ve been referring to them as Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz because we’re dorks. And because we like Chicken-in-a-biscuit so naturally these chicken flavored Pretz have become Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz for us. Naturally.

Also naturally, Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz meters out exactly the same as Listen to the Mocking Bird so you can sing about them if you like. I have been, all day in my head.

Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz,

Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz,

It’s snack food like the cracker but much more!

See? These Pretz have appropriated their own jingle. Take that, Pocky. HA! These Pretz are also really amusing to watch other people eat because they have an odd mesquite smell to them. Chicken isn’t usually mesquite (mesquited?) is it? That question was written word for word on every Guinea Pig’s face as they sniffed the Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz. First the smile, because Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz! Then the confused “Ahhhh…mesquite??!?” look. Priceless. Personally, I think they smell a little bit like smoked bacon too but I appeared to be the only one who thought so.

The Pretz is the Pretz is the Pretz. Crunchity, tasty, crackery. The chicken-y in the busicuitness, however, was zesty. Sssspicay! I liked the spice; it bit just a little on the first taste, in a sort of “hey! I have some spice” announcement and then it built. After three sticks I was definitely aware of the spiciness. Tingly! It never got so spicy that I had to stop and rest, but it sure got my taste buds jumping.

Least you think that the spicy is all there is, rest assured that the chicken does make a showing. Perhaps the chicken bullion-y flavor isn’t as uptight as the spicy so it sits around in the background, happy to be chicken flavored. Meanwhile, the spicy is running around and yelling “Look at me! I’m the Spice!” Eventually, once the spice has died back a bit the chicken just sort of waves a hand and gives a polite “howdy” (Howdy Chicken is Hello Kitty’s new best friend). Maybe it meanders around the mouth a bit, shooting the breeze with the tongue. Whatever. It’s in no hurry to leave.

And that is something you rarely get here at the JSFR: A pleasant lingering aftertaste. Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz has a nice spice after glow and a decent lingering chickeny aftertaste.

I would also like to point out the ingredients,

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(Tada! There they are) specifically the bottom part which states: Contains wheat, soy, sardine (what??!?), bonito, sesame, egg and shrimp (shrimp??!?). Isn’t the point of an ingredients list to list the ingredients? Wasn’t that already done right before the “contains” list? Why aren’t the two fishy items up in the first list of ingredients? If they are in the snack, aren’t they ingredients? And what’s a bonito? Hold on, I’ll go google it for y’all. Oh. Well OK then. Why aren’t the three fishy items up in the first list of ingredients? For all that fish, I can’t really taste it in the Pretz. Weird.

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(Sir! Yes Sir! We have three kinds of fishy things in our Pretz!)

Badmovie was all about giving Chicken-in-a-biscuit Pretz a 4 pea rating (on account of he likes them better than Chicken-in-a-biscuit) but the rest of my Guinea Pigs were hovering at the 3.5 and 3 mark. I was sitting at meh for enjoyment of these Pretz at first but upon subsequent munching I found that I rather liked them. It’s not a 4 pea like, but I’m willing to go with a

Rating

of 3.5 Wasabi Peas out of a possible 5.

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