Hello Campers!

Yesterday there was no updating because of this and that and only snatching three hours of sleep Sunday night, but not three hours in a row. Ergo, brain go blooey. When it takes you twenty minutes to decide whether to put on socks or not and then another twenty to decide which foot to start with the sock on putting, that’s a pretty clear indication that the plork is toast. I put my poor plork to bed, where it slept the sleep of the dead and we all woke up much more functional somewhere after 10. Sleep is good food! Or something. So you didn’t get a Monday update because I was home and I often don’t update when I’m home.

Besides, if I hadn’t included Monday the whole recap would have looked something like this: We played a hella amount of Warcraft. The End.

Instead, I was home the sleepy until after 10, at which point I decided I better get up before I slept too long and couldn’t get to sleep Monday night too. I was thinking I might could do some gardening (remember the garden? I used to talk about it all the time before I got all lazy and sloth indulgent), which I hadn’t gotten around to on the weekend (see: Hella amount of Warcraft) but first I wanted to ease into the day. Maybe grab a cuppa hot tea, some toast and relax with the puter. I could even log onto WoW (the game) and booger about doing stupid things for an hour. Yeah, that sounded perfect.

Sadly, or maybe fatefully, our internet connection was down and nothing I did would Lazarus it back up so no WoW (the game) for me. But! There was still the outside and still my implements of garden manglation and quite a bit of mulch to contend with so I headed out to do some plant mayhem. My new goal, prompted by the cornucopia of mulch, is to rip out the south side garden and get the twin sidewalk garden cut out. After that, it’s simply sticking bordering doohickeys around the garden edge and mulching the beegeebus out of it. This I can do, I have a beegeebus load of mulch. The whole plant aspect of these gardens I’ll deal with in the spring but for now, I still have five bags of mulch to put somewhere.

Thus, I started in on the twin sidewalk garden. It’s only threeish feet wide and maybe eight feet long (possibly ten, who really knows or cares) but I can only chop, shake and plop a shovel’s width of lawn into a bag before it gets too heavy. Do you know how many shovel widths eight, possibly ten feet are? I need to buy stock in lawn bags! Also, what a pathetic waste of bag space one row of evicted lawn is. I’d heft the bag, determine it was just about at the limit of what the lawn bag collector guys will take and then I’d look down…way, way, waaaaaay down at the six or so chunks of forlorn grass lying there. That’s not right. I still had 90% of the bag’s capacity; I couldn’t leave it out on the curb with just six lumps of sad sod in it.

And thus began the search for light stuff I could fill the rest of the bags with. Grass. Grass is light and the entire side garden was mostly weird rooty grass stuff. Fine! So I started in on the side garden. Lilac branches. Lilac branches are light and I’m going to be carving that overgrown triffid of a lilac monster down come spring anyway. Why not get a head start? Apple tree branches! Apple tree branches are light and that darned tree is growing into the porch again. Stoopid bushes! Weed tree! A ROSE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah. Did I mention I bought a new limb lopper the last time I was out? It’s one of those two hander deelies with a two inch branch clipping capacity. On the plus side, the lilac, stoopid bush and the apple tree were going to come down anyway right? Right! Oi. You do not want to be a tree around me when I’ve got the lopper going. Our foliage now has serious mange for which the only cure is that somebody forcibly removes the loppers from my clenched fists.

Other than buzz clipping the plants like a mad thing, I got about six more feet of the side garden done than I thought I would and half the twin sidewalk garden cut out. I even bordered as much of my progress as I could before I ran out of borderery things. And bags. And gusto because the whole garden endeavor lasted seven hours. Seven! I tell ya, give me a branch trimmer and I lose all track of time. I did, however, get two of my five bags of mulch spread out on the new garden space. Go me!

I guess maybe my garden craziness makes up for spending the entire weekend inside playing WoW. The game.

Last year at the booniverse: We also don’t have a really good ventilation system if the oil happens to get a little too hot and start smoking like a meth lab gone wrong.

Last last year at the booniverse: JSFR: AmericanSoft Cookies

The year before at the booniverse: Hey, the new season starts next week? COOL! As you can see, I’m all up on the T.V.

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