Driver Zed

Ah, the majestic game which is Ann Arbor parking! So curious, so quaint… So incredibly frustrating.

The Bug’s been in the shop since Monday, and today’s a Dojo Day, so I’m driving my Fiancee’s behemoth of a truck. It’s a bit different from zipping about in my usual car in kind of the same way that an aircraft carrier is different from a dinghy.

I got in a little later than I’d hoped this morning, but still early enough that there were spots available in the surface lot behind one of the residence halls. I’d rather not try to maneuver the truck-beast through a parking ramp, thanks. Even better, in this particular lot there is a trio of parking spaces that are empty! They’re not next to each other, but they do form a line.

Sort of like this…

“Aha!” I think. “This should reduce the number of little back-and-forth turns I need to make to get this beast perpendicularly parked! Plus, there’s plenty of room on the other side of the row! Once I’m lined up, I can pull through to there and I’ll be all set up for leaving!” And I’m right. For a little while at least.

I pull forward into the space I intend to occupy then, back up and straighten out a bit in space just behind me, and begin to repeat the process when some schmuck zips behind me and into the space that I’ve been backing into.

“That’s ok,” I think. “I’ve still got some space here to straighten out as I pull through to the other side.” No sooner has the thought crossed my mind when another person zooms into that spot.

Great. So now I’m parked all askew in a spot that offers practically no wiggle room. I did a couple of micro back-and-forth arcs to straighten out, but it’s a tight spot. The lady who had gotten out of the car next to where I parked the truck stuck around and watched the whole thing too, with a sour look of disapproval on her face. I’m sure she was waiting for me to bump into the side of her vehicle, and I’m kind of sorry to have disappointed her. Especially when she said, “I hope I have enough space to get out of that spot later.”

You could have preserved biological samples with that voice, it was that cold. I looked over at the space between the truck and her jeep. There’s about 18 inches between the side of the truck and the magnetic rubberized flag stuck on her door, maybe a little less. There’s a good three or four feet between her passenger door and the car on the other side though, so it’s not like she’s stranded… I just smiled sweetly and said, “It’s pretty close, but you should do fine.”