I got my Wife to totally lose her cool in the best possible way. And only 5 days late, which is not too shabby, all things considered.
Of course, I blame the puppies.
Here’s what happened:
Picture the scene, a married couple deprived of sleep. We’re getting ready to hit the road and head north to the in-laws’ place, seeing as how they’ve got a fenced in yard and a doggie door. We fully intend to head up there for a day or two, see if we can recover from our sleep deprivation, and then either head back to town or camp out up there and extend our commute in favor of improved sanity and increased dog happiness.
We’re sitting in the driveway, both dogs loaded into the back of a VW Bug (no mean feat, if I may say so myself), when we realize that we haven’t set up to tape the new episode of the only TV show that we really watch: Stargate SG-1. I head back into the house to set up the VCR.
Imagine my surprise when, while setting up the recorder, I see a commercial for the DVD release of the first season of possibly my wife’s favorite TV show. Coincidentally, the release date for the DVD set is only a day or two before her birthday! I immediately run upstairs, fire up one of the PCs, and place an Amazon order in pitch darkness, so that my Wife will suspect nothing. I head back, finish setting up the VCR, and head out to the car, claiming that the extra time was needed “in order to find a blank tape.”
Then imagine my surprise when the DVD fails to arrive.
Turns out that, in my sleep deprived state, I failed to change the shipping to “Next Day” from “Super Saver, by which we mean some time in the far distant future, long after you’ve forgotten you’ve even placed an order.”
Fortunately, I was able to cancel the first order and place a second order, with “Get it here NOW and DAMN the cost!” shipping. Which still had it arriving today, rather than last week, when it would have been timely for the whole birthday thing.
And, like some kind of idiot, I decided to pretend that there wasn’t actually anything arriving. You know. So that the gift, when it did arrive, would be even more of a surprise.
This went over like the proverbial lead balloon.
Give me a break! I’m new at this whole husband thing!
So, handy tip to all you guys out there: “It’s shipping, but it just hasn’t gotten here yet” is a perfectly valid excuse! Use it!
Anyway, after much angst, I did spill the beans that there was, in fact, a gift on the way. This led to a fun guessing game that helped ameliorate the lack of the actual gift.
Can I drive it?
Sort of. (DVD drives count, right?)
How big is it?
Bigger than a teacup, smaller than a bread box
Is it blue?
No, it’s quite happy.
There was also the much less fun game of hoping that my Wife wouldn’t find out that the DVDs even existed. This meant steering her clear of any bookstores, not watching the SG-1 tape, and even hoping that I could be fast enough on the draw to flip channels if any commercials came on for it.
And when it arrived earlier today, I had the great experience of seeing my Wife’s face expand into a look of total happy surprise and shock.
And you know what? It was so worth it…